Paw Prints at Large

There’s no getting away from it: I like books. And so do most of my friends. Oh, yes, the e-reader has its place, especially in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep, but putting on the light would evoke disgruntled mutterings from whoever happens to be sharing the bed. But books – real, paper books with pages you can turn with a satisfying rustle – are special. Knowing I’m 52% through the book just doesn’t cut it.

I grew up with books, so it’s a bit of a no-brainer that, once I had put a tentative paw in to the world of self-publishing, the next step was to go to print.

So I took a deep breath and plunged into the Amazonian jungle that is CreateSpace, of which more anon. If you are looking for a moment’s diversion, or the perfect Mother’s Day gift, take a look.

Two young fellows who went on a spree
In the town that the French call Paree
Have come home with a germ
That causes a squirm
And burns quite a lot when they pee.

Rain! the lawn’s a lake
I hear them complain, but I
welcome rain, I frog.

On the new AutoRoute des Plages
If you meet a girl, curvy and large,
Who says: “Veux-tu, chéri?”
Don’t go thinking it’s free:
The transaction is strictly péage.

It occurs to me that we may not have met before, and you might be wondering how came paw prints in the butter – and, for that matter, why?

‘Paw Prints in the Butter’ is a collection of comic verses about (you guessed it) cats, written over a period of about 20 years by someone who thought of herself as a dedicated cat person. A couple of years ago I thought I might as well do something about them, as no editor was beating a path to my door, so I put a toe in the water with a Kindle publication called ‘Paws and Whiskers’. Not the most original of titles, I agree.

Within minutes, or so it seemed, another collection came out under the same title, written by someone better known than I, so I had to have a rethink.

And this is how it came about…

THE OLD CURIOSITY CAT

Are there paw-prints in the butter
And a nose mark on the pane?
Is there fluff beneath the sofa?
That cat’s been here again!

The Old Curiosity Cat is a card:
He has to know everything, won’t be debarred
From bedroom or kitchen or garage or loo.
If you’re going somewhere he has to go too.

The Old Curiosity Cat is the kind
That never says ‘Pardon,’ or ‘Hope you don’t mind.’
If at midnight you creep like a mouse down the stair
The Old Curiosity Cat will be there.

If the postman has been and he’s left on the mat
A brown-paper package, intriguingly fat,
Be sure that its contents won’t long be in doubt:
The Old Curiosity Cat will find out!

If some new people move into Number Thirteen
He knows them already: he’s already been
Inspecting their cupboards and nosing their chairs –
The Old Curiosity Cat’s everywhere.

Curiosity (says the old adage) has killed
Many cats, so I tell him. He’s very strong willed.
He knows with his ancient cat wisdom the fact
That finding things out very soon brought it back.

There are paw-prints in the butter,
There’s a nose mark on the pane,
There is fluff beneath the sofa –
That cat’s been here again!

We’ve been dabbling our paws in Facebook for a little while. Now it’s time to venture out into the wider world. What you’ll find here are verses, limericks (some clean), musings and anything that a self-respecting Cat might think will amuse herself and you.